Got back to a very hard day at work after a great break and celebration for my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. It was a raucous celebration party and their friends packed the Riverboat. That was heartening, that they are so loved and have so many wonderful people to hang out with.
The three day trip made me think a lot about marriage as this year is our 30th. So what exactly have I learned from my parent’s marriage? I mean, so much. . .clearly, as my two siblings and I have had long marriages with the same spouse.
1) Never have a TV in your bedroom. My Mom told me this early on and except for the first apartment we had for a year, we never did again. (See Mom, I did listen to you about some things!) It pretty much is a huge “intimacy” distraction. If you need white noise to sleep, run a fan. But by the time you or your wife hits 45, this will be a must anyways.
My mom is crying above as she gets well wishes videos from her granddaughters, Addison and Alexa, then one from my sister-in-law Jana. My mom is trying to figure out her camera and the happy couple, Gail and Lynn.
2) Get over it! I remember my parents having one big fight my whole life, which basically lasted 1 day and night. Otherwise, they’d fuss and fight like any other couple over meaningless crap. Gail: I don’t agree with that opinion. Lynn: What? I’m right! Two minutes elapse… Gail: Baby, bring me a drink? Lynn: OK sweetie, smooch, smooch. That’s what I grew up with, a great example of get over it, get over yourself and move on. If it’s worth hanging on too, talk it out like the adults you are.
PICTURED ABOVE: My brother Kevin and my sister Jennifer
3) Maintain a strong physical connection. I always joke that my parent’s have a better sex life than me. But in reality, they are a loving, affectionate couple. They say people in their community think it’s amazing they still hold hands. But things like that, affection without sex and without the promise of sex, is the glue that holds a good relationship together. Don’t get me wrong, sex is great and a healthy sex life in marriage is important. But sex will wane if a couple does not stay affectionate.
PICTURED ABOVE: My beautiful Mom showing the waitress the cute love/heart candles she bought for the party. Me and my gorgeous Dad who just turned 71, can you believe it?
4) Be true to yourself and your partner: My parents don’t hold each other back. They push for each other’s dreams and love unconditionally. My Mom was 17 when they married and my Dad worked on the docks at Port Everglades, FL. She finished college and he became a steel executive. They worked hard, supported each other and retired in style. They always joke about “spending our inheritance” and all three of us hope they give it a good shot. Because they taught us to take care of ourselves and have a good time. We want them to as they earned it, together.
PICTURED ABOVE: The UK babes Jane and Billie, who live in the condos where my parents live. We hit it off and they are fun friends.
5) LOVE DOES MEAN SAYING YOU’RE SORRY: My parents always say they are sorry to each other if one has been ill tempered and/or unkind. They are faithful, true and honest to each other.
They taught us so much and I am proud to be their daughter. And I love you, my great blog followers! Kathryn